Having found some nostalgic letters/items on my computer, I decided to share them.
First, from my brother: a description of my mother's cremation service.
Subject: Mum's Cremation Service
Date: Sat, 15 Sep 2001
I am sure Carole has told you of what our plans were regarding Mum and yesterday we had the Cremation Service at Kingsdown Crematorium in Swindon. The arrangements had been done through a local funeral director in Marlborough (an interesting experience compared to Dad's funeral arrangements at Doves in Durban!) A flabby-faced wet-mouthed chap in surroundings that could have come out of Dickens’ times nevertheless very helpful.
We have been very fortunate to have Annette Hare from Durban staying with us this week. She has been a great friend of Carole's through St Agnes in Kloof and has been a wonderful spiritual support. She has known Mom well obviously for some 15 years and Mom was fond of her too. Annette visited often to massage Mom's feet and often prayed with her. So - coincidentally wonderful that she was here
The service was at 1:30pm and the 5 of us with Annette and Alison drove through to Swindon. The hearse was waiting under the trees some 200m away and with wet face in front looking sombre started a slow walk in front of the vehicle up to the door of the church. I couldn't help giggling as Mom would have been livid with this dork walking so slowly and looking so miserable - Get on with it she would have said!
Steve Sankey the minister from Christchurch took the service. He was very good with Mom the few times she came to church with us remembering her name and making a fuss. He came round the night before and went through Mom's life with us and looked through some of the things she had written about her faith
In the service Meegan and Gemma read the first reading jointly and I the second. We chose the scripture readings bearing in mind what Mom would have enjoyed and what would encapsulate Mom's nature. I have reproduced them below
After the readings Annette had very kindly offered to sing a song which I accompanied on the guitar - "Your love" - again something which Mom would have enjoyed and which referred to grace - something we feel Mom portrayed
After the commendation and committal sloppy chops lead us out again with much sobriety and decorum - again out of place given Mom's character and, as Steve said, this was a joyous occasion as we celebrate both Mom's glorious life and her passing to a better place
As time was limited afterwards we went to have coffee in Hungerford at a coffee shop in an antique arcade - amazing place with tiny cupboard size shops with bric a brac and old men's travelling sette, bone handled butter knives, rusty watering cans - you know the kind of place
All in it went very well. I have phoned Uncle Ian (who is very down as Auntie Hilda's brother in law died last week) and also spoken to Auntie Hilda about spreading Mom's ashes at the white stones. They have suggested a memorial service up there for the family and those who knew her. I said we would think about it as I didn't really expect them to want any formality but I think they would like to do something seeing they missed the Cremation Service. I also spoke to Andrea yesterday and she said she would come up for that so I think we will definitely do something - any ideas as to what you feel? I initially thought of a small service at the white stones at Logie Newton but of course that would preclude the less active and it will probably be cold.
Although you were not there I know you were thinking of us and were there in spirit
Luke 6: 27 - 38
But I say unto you which hear, Love your enemies, do good to them which hate you,
[28] Bless them that curse you, and pray for them which despitefully use you.
[29] And unto him that smiteth thee on the one cheek offer also the other; and him that taketh away thy cloke forbid not to take thy coat also.
[30] Give to every man that asketh of thee; and of him that taketh away thy goods ask them not again.
[31] And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise.
[32] For if ye love them which love you, what thank have ye? for sinners also love those that love them.
[33] And if ye do good to them which do good to you, what thank have ye? for sinners also do even the same.
[34] And if ye lend to them of whom ye hope to receive, what thank have ye? for sinners also lend to sinners, to receive as much again.
[35] But love ye your enemies, and do good, and lend, hoping for nothing again; and your reward shall be great, and ye shall be the children of the Highest: for he is kind unto the unthankful and to the evil.
[36] Be ye therefore merciful, as your Father also is merciful.
[37] Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven:
[38] Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again
1 Corinthians 13: 4 - 13
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.
For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears.
When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.
Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
Your Love
Your love - Shining like the sun
Pouring like the rain, Raging like the storm
Refreshing me again I receive your love
Chorus:
Pour over me, Pour over me
Let your rain flood this thirsty soul
Pour over me Your waves of love Pour over me
Your grace frees me from the past
It purges every sin
It purifies my heart
And heals me from within
I receive your grace
I come and lay my burden down
Gladly at your feet
I'm opening up my heart
Come and make this joy complete
I receive your peace